Predestination...

So I was just looking up my birthdate on Wikipedia... you know, the kind of thing you do when you have 3 minutes to spare while a program restarts. That was me covering my ass because I've now sent this link to co-workers, and am worried about managing perception. It's downtime people!

Irregardless.

Lo and behold, what do I discover, but this amazing fact:

November 6, 1889 - Nintendo Koppai (Later Nintendo Company, Limited) founded by Fusajiro Yamauchi to produce and market the playing card game Hanafuda.

Okay, so first of all, who knew that Nintendo was founded in the 19th century?!?

Second of all, doesn't it make so much sense? No wonder I would trade everyone I love for ten minutes with these guys.



Although clearly I would use the ten minutes to end the tyranny of Mario, and make it the all Luigi show. Who doesn't love Luigi more? He's more laid back, cooler, and yes, I'll say it - hotter than Mario. But yet he's alway Player 2, he rarely gets his own game, and he's basically always living in Mario's shadow. I mean look at Mario up there, showboating his stupid head off while Luigi's all scratching his nose like he know's SOMETHING stinks. I'll tell you what stinks - Mario playing Midler to Luigi's whoever played the other person in Beaches.

F-that. Luigi rocks the Mushroom Kingdom. Word.

Who could tire of this image?

If you ever hear someone lament the computer age, or lambast the rise of photo manipulation technology, you should probably show them this graphic.



An old one, but come on. What are you, made of stone? You can't appreciate the beauty of infinite Hasselcrotch?

Top Models Unleashed

So the models are out, and Tyra's in fine form as usual.



I love her ridiculously airbrushed photos. There's another one which I won't even re-post here, just so you will emit the same girlish shriek I did when it leapt out at me from the site.

Speaking of the new top model site, can I briefly nerd out and complain about the ridiculously bad functionality? I can appreciate why they used Flash, and visually there are some nice things there, but the long transitions every time you open a new page, the inability to access photo galleries easily and flexibly, buried content... it's a pretty bad interface.

Okay, I put Chloe O'Brien back in her cubicle, and I'm back to talk models. The girls are the usual - all relatively good-looking, no one leaping off the page really, except for Molly Sue (below). She could suck bigtime, but this photo is hot!



It's also clearly a season of diversity. I was surprised and impressed to find that they have selected among their top 13:

A 40 year old woman:


and a mogwai:


Don't front - you know what I'm talking about:

What R.Kelly really means by the 'V.I.P. tour' of his crib...

It's funny - I've been meaning to post the ode to R. Kelly for a while, and then just now as I was listening to pandora, one of the many gems in the vault came on: Break Up (That's All We Do) It's a pretty mainstream joint from the album with Jay-Z, but the lyrics below killed me. Note how he masterfully transitions from a generic sexual scenario to something that's pure R. Kelly.

[R. Kelly]
Seems we're always arguing, but
Right after the arguing we have, sex
Sex with best friends
From the bathroom to the kitchen (we sex)
From the kitchen to living room (we sex)
From the living room to upstairs (we sex)
Upstairs to the attic (we sex)
Attic to the basement (we sex)
From the basement to the car garage (we sex)
Garage to the back of the Jeep (we sex)
Bicycle to the treadmill (we sex)
Even over by the dirty lawnmower (we sex)
The neighbors and the dogs are lookin crazy (we sex)
I don't care because you're my baby (we sex)
It's our house, and we can have sex (we sex)
anytime we want to (we sex)

Okay now seriously - by the dirty lawnmower?!?

R.Kelly, how I love you. So until I can complete the tribute album/column/post, keep digging in the R. Kelly vaults. The man is solid gold.