Another narcissistic trip down memory lane, in honour of my 28th birthday, quickly pulled together before I go to dance dance dance to some Roger Sanchez tonight. Fun fun!
These photos would be slightly better if I had access to my full photo collection. As it still needs to be liberated from the old condo, I am making do with the small box of photos I have access to. There're still some classics here though - no worries.
1. As legend has it, I was born with my eyes open, and, instead of crying, looked around the room. As my personal version of the legend has it, I then gnawed through my own umbilical cord, stitched my mom up myself, and lit my dad's cigar.
2. All you hipster mustache guys, take note. Unless you're growing this kind of man-stache, you've got nuthin. Also notable: kisses from this whiskered face made me take a lifelong anti-mustache policy. Which maaaay have been broken here or there, as all sworn oaths should be.
3. Awwww, it's me and my mom. She looks really beautiful here methinks. It was her birthday three days ago, so.... yay for her!
4. I completely love this photo. Evidently I was jealous of the attention my baby/younger brother was getting, and so I stole his diaper cream and covered myself in it. A narcissistic bitch from early childhood, the headlines will read.
5. Here's my brother and I with Ollie, a demented fuck of a cockapoo with a taste for blood. After the tenth bite or so, our parents told us that he was "adopted by a family that lived on a farm". I think we all know the real story.
Lucky number 6. Wheeeeeee!
7. This photo rules for a few reasons. Obviously the cool matching hats (mine's under my arm), Cam's freakishly dapper hipster persona, and my 'thumbs-up to camping!' gesture are part of the magic. But the coolest thing about this shot? My shirt, which reads 'Think Young'. As our last name is Young, we found it to be probably the most badass hilarious t-shirt in history.
8. Dad. Cutest baby ever. Grandma.
9. Okay, so here's how dumb kids are. I was actually a pretty smart kid (at least that's what grown-ups kept telling me), and I still came to this bird sanctuary with the express plan to record the bird sounds, study them until their meaning became clear, and then be able to speak duck and rule the pond near my house. I dreamed about this plan for months. Also - that's my oldest friend Melissa there - 24 years and counting!
10. So I was about 14 in this photo. Note that I'm wearing a 90210 t-shirt. Now I'm turning twice that age... and season one is JUST NOW coming out on dvd. Damn you Aaron Spelling with your sublime trash!
11. Me at a sleepover. So hyperactive I always got sent to another room. See? They can't even hold me in frame!
12. The coolest thing about this photo is the pants I'm wearing. They're covered in stars, and I made them myself. I made another pair that were bright silver, but I believe they created a gamma ray pulse when photographed with a flash, so no evidence remains.
13. Yeah, sure you're cool and know a bunch of indie designers. But are you fashion international style '86? I think you are not sir.
14. Hey! It's me in Whistler with an alarmingly oversized baseball cap on backwards. Rocking the loser snowboarder styles... nice.
15. Me and the brother like to kick it old school. We like this photo because it looks so seedy... kind of like an expose on babysitters who drink.
16. Me in Paris with chocolate fondue and Mylene - one of the best friends I've known in this life... I miss you girl!
17. Me in an ultra-repulsive male strip club (aren't they all?). This homemade shirt is cut into a sweet fringe, and has 'classy lassy' written on it in marker. I glued some sequins on it to bedazzle the shit out of it, but they fell off at some point.
18. Here I am rollerskating in Beijing. In a rollerskating karaoke arcade. Yes, it did blow my mind.
19. Not too much to say about this one. It was December of my first year here in Vancity. And I loved that visor.
20. I'm in a cab somewhere in Beijing. I find this photo fairly odd-looking, and also that I oddly look sort of like Chloe Sevigny in it.
21. Hey! It's The Beckstar on a boat to Hot Springs Cove in Tofino.
22. Ah the good times in Beijing. This was the infamous 'mould cleaning' evening, where we discovered our illegal chinese housing was full of toxic black mould, and spent the night cleaning it. There may have been some slight paranoia at play here... but hard to say.
This was taken during a road trip down the Pacific Coast. I think this was in Oregon. In any case, it was the most poorly cared for aquarium ever. Right after this photo was taken, this (left) happened. I'm not ashamed to admit - I screamed and ran.
24. I really like this photo. It was taken in my good friend Nat's place, who is ridiculously awesome and yet another person I haven't seen or talked to in years. Le sigh.
25. The Beckstar at the Great Wall.
26. Playing in sand dunes. This photo is nice, but pretty boring. I'll probably swap it with something funnier tomorrow.
27. The package said 'Judy Fruity'... but we all know her as simply 'The Prosti-fruit'.
28. The Beckstar as Rambo. First Blood.
This is the seventh in the Unilever-sponsored series in the massive Turbine Hall space, which has included exhibits from 
