Santogolden shower!

The video for LSGHLS just came out, which is just one of the great songs on Santogold's eponymous album.

It and another cut, appear below. Yay!

Lights Out

L.E.S. Artistes

Weezy is totally the new R Kelly

Beckstar blog lovin' Lil' Wayne.

Beckstar blog what the hell is he talking about at 0:55?

Beckstar blog Weezy invented a new style of talking.

Beckstar blog I am seriously considering replacing R Kelly with Wayne in my heart.

Beckstar blog Weezy considers good sex to be a job.

Beckstar blog how do I become one of Weezy's goons?

Beckstar blog WOW WOW WOW.

Beckstar blog watching this video over and over while hungover from Pride fun.

Beckstar blog you will love this.

Realty Board Action Team!

Hello Becca.

I am concerned you may be missing and if I don't hear from you within 24-48 hours I will have to consider you missing and will report you to the Police and our Realty Watch network which fans out to all members of the Real Estate Boards in Canada.

Alan the building manager and I have discussed that this seems very un-characteristic of you therefore we must follow our suspicions.

Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network

Speaking of "fat" chicks...

Okay, seriously now people. The only way 15-year old Miley Cyrus lost 44 lbs this year is if she cut all of her limbs off.

Facebook ads suck sometimes. I mainly get ones about tightening my abs and reminding me that I'm '29 and still single'. Well you know what, Facebook? I'd rather be single than married to someone and trolling the service below...

No fat chicks.

Now this is real nice.



This ad is massively offensive, mainly in that it entirely equates 'the wrong woman' with 'the wrong-sized woman' (not to mention that, judging by the wedding photo in the ad, the wife LOOKED LIKE THAT WHEN HE MARRIED HER).

But let's talk about the website - ashleymadison.com, which describes itself as the world’s #1 Married Dating service specifically for ATTACHED men and women who are looking to have an Extra-marital Affair. Ummmmm... ick.

At the end of the day, I am a believer in live and let live when it comes to consenting adults. It just strikes me that the time and energy spent 'winking' at sexy marrieds on this site could be much better spent either:

a) talking to/shagging one's spouse
b) filing for divorce

The site's excellent press room features a ton of articles in support of the site, and while I certainly am not surprised this Canadian venture has become moderately successful (from 50,000 to 350,000 users over the last 5 years) it kind of seems like the refuge for the pathetic.

What happened to hotel bars, anyway?

We're looking for stopping power...

This is so good.



Anyone with experience in the agency world will relate to this. Brilliant!

The best movie of 2008...

This trailer made me laugh really hard.

It looks like a cinematic experience on the level with Crossroads, Glitter and Baby Geniuses. All of which I saw in the theatre. Don't judge me.

Dr. Horrible makes me want to stalk Joss Whedon.

But just to hang out. Maybe drink lemonade. Certainly not to write and act hours of Buffy/Dr. Horrible slash fanfic.

Oh Joss, you make me want to do evil.

So, anyhow - Joss Whedon created and wrote/produced Buffy - the best television show of all time, period. What Tarantino is to action film, Joss is to genre television - deep fans of their medium, their projects are a blend of homage and original creation, playing to a populist audience but with rich payoff for smarter/deeper viewers, and done with so much fun they make it look easy. Love the Joss.

So, during last year's writer strike, instead of getting bloated and lying around the California coastline, he wrote, produced and directed (with collaboration from his brother and some others) a three-part supervillian musical miniseries called Dr. Horrible, starring Neil Patrick Harris. Love the Joss.



It was broadcast online only, for free (although after this weekend it is supposed to be only on iTunes - $4) as an experiment in alternate distribution and, as Joss describes in a LA Times interview, to create an Internet event for the fans (and others) to enjoy because we enjoyed it so much Mission accomplished. The first installment was successful enough to crash the servers and, most importantly, is an amazing, compelling, hella fun little bit of cinema.

In the same interview, Joss mentions that he is doing a musical commentary for this, which is pretty much the best idea ever. LOVE THE JOSS.

You should go watch it right now.

All videos should be this good...

Björk - All Is Full Of Love
by Bjork

Hell to the yes.

Some beef is big and some beef is small...

...but what y'all call beef is not beef at all.

I don't know if you're following the old skool versus new skool beef between Ice-T and Soulja Boy, but if not, the Beckstar provides.

The play by play goes as follows: Ice-T disses Soulja Boy on the MixTape, Soulja Boy responds with video, Ice-T answers in kind. Kanye chimes in. Enjoy:

Ice-T --> "Soulja Boy - let me talk about Soulja Boy. I know you're young enough to be my kid, but you singlehandedly killed hip hop"

Soulja Boy --> "Real talk though. Mr T. you gots to- you must understand, shit is different now. When you was born, niggas was still driving in wood cars, god-damn Walmart wasn't made yet, you know. There wasn't no internet, there wasn't no video cameras to record this, to diss your whole ass on."

Ice-T --> "If any war, it's going to be good hip hop versus bad hip hop, you understand what I'm saying? And if there has to be a war on that battlefield, then' I'm proud to be the general, nigga. And I will never shoot a round off."

BTW, I'm on team Soulja Boy. Ice-T's comments are solid, but he's about twenty years past his best-before date, and should probably stick to acting and doing whatever it is he does with the frightening Amazon he's married to. I don't really want to know.

Beckstar reviews animated gifs of dragons

So I was reminiscing on one of my most popular posts - reviews of animated gifs of cats, and was inspired to log a similar entry. This time dragons.

This was an interesting project, because it highlighted a clear lack of understanding in our culture of what exactly a dragon is. Let's start with

Dragons are:

Yes. Dragons are flying, fire-breathing badasses. If this gif included some burning villagers, it would be pretty much perfect.

Dragons are not:

Turds with faces.

Sexy alligators.

Interested in world events, sports, editorials or comics. In fact, I'm pretty sure that dragons can't read. Period.

Bats with pants.

Now that we're on the topic, can we talk about cartoons and animals in pants?

I get that illustrators don't really want to draw the creepy loin region of these asexual subjects, and thus just toss on an oversized t-shirt or a pair of tight jeans. But for the viewers, this just begs the question of what exactly lives under these garments, which is infinitely more disturbing.

This is a gyrating freak show.

Not only does the creator of this gif imagine dragons to be obese, overly friendly try-hards, but the left hand is perpetually locked in a moment of obscene self-gratification. Can you imagine if this dragon was wearing pants?

My guess is that the dragon in this case is a thinly-veiled metaphor for the creator's "Fun Uncle Touch-a-lot". Sometimes the subconscious comes out in unexpected ways.

And then we have my personal favourite. Again... WTF?

America's Next Top MILF

Where has this show been all my life?

It's called She's Got the Look, and is totally Top Model for the MILF set. What else do you need to know?

a) it's hilarious - a woman talks, in her audition, about her lifelong dream of posing with a lion styled like a siamese twin. And she's definitely not kidding.

b) it's proof that age does not equal maturity - one of the women freaks out after losing a competition and rants "I know why you won, and it's SUPERFICIAL". In a modelling competition. Brillance.

c) beyond belief MILF-iness. One of the women, when asked to share her 'darkest secret', admits that she likes younger guys... eighteen year old guys, and another says that she made her sons sign a contract never to love anyone as much as her.

d) hot, hot, hot ladies. Seriously - these women are smoking. Check it:



You can watch the whole business online on the TV Land 'She's got the Look' site, and I highly recommend that you check you at least the first episode.

Or check out the 'best moments' compilation prepared by one of my favourite bloggers - Tracie Egan.

MILFs for life!

Collaborative Low-Energy Cardboard Performance Art... and More Stuff about Cats

This went viral a while back, so you've likely seen it, but I've got to repost as it's hella funny, and really, really worth the six minutes.

It's a video entitled An Engineer's Guide to Cats, and while it is certainly that, it is also a perfect example of how engaging a low budget and an engaging personality can be.


Corporal cuddling is seriously an amazing concept

I've written before about the unique magic of cat owners, and this is a prime example.

Best Moments from the R Kelly Trial!

...But her testimony quickly turned into a play-by-play of a fantasy basketball game in which Kelly was the star player. Kelly had a hit with "I Believe I Can Fly," from the soundtrack to the animated movie "Space Jam." According to Guerrero, Kelly also believed he could play ball.

Guerrero described--and prosecutors provided photos of--a mural on the wall of a half basketball court in the lower level of the home. In it, Kelly is a Michael Jordan doppelganger, bald, shiny, muscles rippling, committing a flagrant foul against the Tasmanian Devil. Jordan himself is the referee. And the audience? A cast of Looney Tunes characters, from Elmer Fudd to Sylvester, cheering on the one-on-one game and holding signs that read "Go R. Kelly!" and "Go Taz!"

- source

Are you kidding me? This is unprecedented.

Jamison also got a few laughs out of the court, such as when Adam asked her about the possibility of the tape having been altered with special effects. Had she seen the Wayans brothers movie "Little Man"? "It looked real, didn't it?" Adam asked. "Not really," Jamison replied with some sarcasm.

- source

The Wayan Brothers defense?

Kelly's attorneys suggest that a prayer group called "Midnight Missionaries" often came to the studio in the wee hours to pray about topics such as "sin and adultery."

- source

It's a hard time to be an R Kelly fan. Don't get me wrong, it's never been all that easy to be an R Kelly fan. But the infamous urination video seems a lot less funny in the cold light of the courtroom.

I, like the rest of society it seems, have inconsistent opinions about both the criminally famous and the sexualization of children. I only need to cite some first names - Britney, Miley, Jon-Benet - to make the point. Let's be clear - sexual activity with young teenagers, as a forty-year old man, is repugnant and appropriately criminal.

But my R Kelly love has never been about reason or ethics. It's a lawless love born of ego and delusion. And thus, I follow the trial. R Kelly, you never cease to amaze.