R. Kelly is the future.

Common knowledge dictates that there's a fine line between genius and crazy. As it now, turns out, the fastest route to this line is: a low IQ, a big budget and a lot of cocaine.

Yes, we're talking about R. Kelly's magnum opus - Trapped in the Closet.

Seriously now, how great are celebrity pet projects? Travolta's unintentionally hilarious scientology film, Mariah Carey's thinly veiled biodrama, Britney's heinous and hideous telebarf, Stallone's alleged new Rambo business... even Kirk Cameron has a 'personal story of faith' to share.

But R-Kelly's Trapped in the Closet has set a new benchmark - has in fact flown the bar so high (or low, depending on your viewpoint) that Britney, Whitney and Diddy could cohost a gangbang... and I'd be like... shrug.

The whole film is almost an experiment with the extreme limits of human entertainment. A new dimension in fact, where beyond the furthest limit of ego, superficiality, melodrama and ineptitude, it all inverts and becomes wonder, magic, depth and skill. I seriously think that watching this film may be the closest I've come to having a religious experience. Okay, maybe not, but it's pretty f'ing mindblowing, that's for sure.

So there you have it folks - stupid is the new smart, serious is the new funny, and R. Kelly is your new messiah.

Go forth and preach it.

Can we talk about...

Let's just sit and absorb the presence, before I start dissecting the madness, the greatness, the entity that is R Kelly.

Ugly Photo Fun!

Aren't ugly photos fun? Here are some particularly ugly ones from my digital camera adventures over the last few months:




and then here is the Blair Witch series:

Blog, meet World. World, meet Blog.

Ten important things to briefly note, as I begin this foray into the blogosphere:

1. R Kelly's 'Trapped in the Closet' film is the most important cultural artifact of the new millenium.
2. Well-programmed robots would solve many of humanity's problems.
3. SuperMario3 is the best video game of all time. Period.
4. Pop culture is not the enemy.
5. Really long hair is super gross.
6. Cats are also pretty gross.
7. Reggae music should not be judged by its fans alone.
8. Hip hop music should not be judged by its lyrics alone.
9. In the universe as a whole, Earth is likely best known for its cola.
10. Good dance skills can make up for many shortcomings - in oneself, and in a relationship

I will be expanding on these, and other related or un-related topics, in this blog. Enjoy!